12/16/16

Check In: I'm exhausted from my cold, but feeling full of peace this morning. It's snowy outside, and despite my worries I can just sit here and be at peace with myself. Be in the presence of the Lord, listening to Christmas music. It's a wonderful feeling. I'm wearing a new outfit, that is comfy and beautiful and straight from Gods love for me through Steven. What an incredible man he is.

Prayer Answered! - I've been praying that Stevens relationships with his brothers would be healed and restored and God has done it! I'm a way that I could never have orchestrated. Relationships filled with respect and kindness. I can only keep praying that God continues to grow those relationships and praise him for his goodness!

Bible Study: Today's verse is,

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:6-7

Love is intact the most important character aspect, most moving emotion, most magical thing that is in the Bible, and God makes sure we know it. He says “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” -1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:1-3‬. I mean, can he be anymore clear that love is the basis of who he is and who he wants us to be? I could show you hundreds of more places where he says or demonstrates this, but for now I want you to focus on some of the characteristica of love. Love does not delight in evil. Our core being, our basis of life should be saddened by evil, should despise doing evil. And love rejoices with truth! How often do we lie to those we love and say it is in love that we have lied. It is hard for me to find a basis on this. Love protects. It protects the poor, the downtrodden, sinners and orphans alike. It always trusts! And while you might be saying love is too pure for you too innocent. You can't always trust! Think again, because true love always perseveres! It's innocent yes but in a way that has seen evil understands sin, and chooses to do it's work anyways, because of those things even! And love is something that should be extended to yourself.  No one is beyond the reach of love.

12/15/16

Thursday, Dec. 15th, 2016

Check-In: I think we are all excited for Christmas at this point. Only 10 days! Me and Steven have gotten presents for all our loved one, and I've got a surprise up my sleeve. I'm pretty clogged up, this cold is really getting me today, and I'm still prone to binging. I was thinking though, life would be so boring, so meaningless if you don't face painful and trying challenges. So I guess that I have something to be thankful for in that. Outside there is snow knee to waist high! Steven still has to work of course, they warned me he would be working more hours, but really it hasn't been bad at all. I don't know who is more ready for his break from college starting tomorrow, me or him... I love him, and I think this will be a good Christmas.

 Bible Study: The verse today is,

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who have been made in God's likeness." - James 3:9 

Now, I think it is safe to assume that it is a bad thing that we curse people who are made in God's image. James 3 goes on and explains it more but lets look at it from our own perspective. We as humans have been made in the image of God, it says it right in Genesis 1:26-27

"Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." So from the beginning we created in God's image. In fact, on earth we have all authority. God works through us on earth! So how can we praise God one moment, and the curse, judge, and ridicule his mirror reflection the next? 

Am I guilty of this? I believe so. I might not do it often, but I curse individuals. My mother mostly. I am constantly cursing myself and the body God has given me. I wonder how that feels to him? No wonder I feel like such a fraud in church! How can I praise him when I am cursing and despising the image of him that is myself! 

You know how the bible talks about drawing near to God and he will draw near to us, maybe if I draw near to him, set aside my hatred towards myself, God will draw near to me and give me peace with my body and mind. I think it's worth a try.

Afternoon trip to the book store and grabbed six that looked interesting. Two novels, Vengence Road and Winterspell (Nutcracker spin off that is perfect for the season), two home style DIYs, The Recipie for Radience, and 75 habits for a happy marriage. I think those are hitting all the angles, healthcare, pleasure reading, art, and social skills. I'm excited to try out the recipie she for acne in the healthcare book.